A military parade. A display of might from a nation to its people. Civilians fill the streets and cheer as soldiers march past in perfect unison. The gleaming armor, the war horns, the drums, the stories of glory and heroism, all enticing to the young generation still in their childhood. But none of them see. None of them see what goes on beneath the armor. Behind the helm that hides the face of a man. If only they could see…
Retreating from the parade, I hobbled back to my decrepit home in the city. Lighting a candle, I entered the dark musty basement where I conducted my work, and stopped in front of an old armor stand. On it was my old suit of armor from decades ago when I was strong, ambitious, and bloodthirsty. The plates were painted black, covered in cuts, rust, and dents. Back in those days, these were seen as trophies to signify battles won, and a veteran warrior. Painted in red on each shoulder, was an image of a screaming skull. To add size to what would have already been an intimidating sight, the helmet had a horizontal bladed mane of steel. Looking at the armor, I shuddered as the memories it held invaded my mind.
Continuing on, I reached my study and on my desk was an old diary stained with dried blood. I read it hundreds no, thousands of times in past years. Each time was just as haunting, just as violent as the first time I read it so long ago. The events etched into the paper seized my attention, occupied my dreams, the remorse stole from me my warrior spirit. I could no longer bear arms while knowing the sin I committed. I couldn’t do it anymore, I just couldn’t. And now, I’ve become a slave to its horrors. Trembling, I slowly opened the diary once more and tortured myself with its contents.
Diary of Naran 13th Assault Division
ENTRY ONE
When the war with the Northern Kingdom broke out, I received word that I would be sent to the front. Being the eager soldier that I am, I quickly followed my orders and soon found myself enthusiastically marching into hostile lands with my comrades of the 13th. The bright green markings painted on my gleaming armor distinguished me as a member of the Dragon Legion. The legion that lays siege to cities and conquers land. The legion that destroyed the empire’s foes. And we did just that.
Our initial engagement against the enemy vanguard proceeded with little resistance. Our superior numbers drove away our foe without any contest. I was always taught to never underestimate the enemy but I couldn’t help but laugh as they fled.
ENTRY TWO
Today I tasted battle. The 13th walked straight into an ambush from the Northerners. I very quickly learned that the ‘glorious combat’ that my superiors talked about all the time during training wasn’t everything that it’s envisioned to be. Ultimately, we were victorious as per usual but not without losses. It was a textbook ambush. The instant that we realized what situation we were in, we responded accordingly and forced the enemy into retreat. However, a number of soldiers were still picked off in the initial seconds of the attack. It was an ambush meant for a significantly smaller force so there was no real threat of defeat. But the emotions that surged within me in the heat of the moment as arrows flew and the other soldiers briefly panicked. Thinking about a real battle filled me with a subtle sense of foreboding. But I immediately brushed away the morbid emotions. Because we don’t lose.
ENTRY THREE
My first real battle. The fortress stood no chance. However, victory came at a cost. The previous ambush was nothing in comparison to the siege. It was a nightmare. One that you had to kill to wake up from. The sound of whistling arrows, clashing steel, and dying screams threw me into an animalistic trance. I killed not because they were the enemy or because I had orders to but simply because I didn’t want to die. There came a point when I forgot that battles came to an end and just like that it was over. I survived, but others did not. So many were unable to fight their way through the nightmare and now they lay dead among the butchered bodies. That night we occupied the fortress and celebrated our victory with good food and strong drink. Or at least that's what the others did. I couldn’t comprehend how they could celebrate. The living paid the dead no heed and I could feel a piece of my soul die watching them carry on the way they did.
ENTRY FOUR
Six months. Marching, fighting, marching, fighting, marching, and of course, more fighting. I've grown accustomed to the flames of war. I no longer batted a proper eye towards it. Killing people became a routine. A basic part of my day. My once shining armor was now dull, damaged, and stained with blood. The green markings that I took pride in, now scratched and faded. Normally I’d be punished for not keeping my armor shiny and fresh, but no one really cares at this point. Since my last entry a while back, about half of our force has died and we’re due for replacements. All my friends? Gone. Some day, I'll be celebrating victory all on my lonesome. Drinking the night away without a soul to pour me another mug.
ENTRY FIVE
The reinforcements arrived today with their shining armor and pristine formation. Looking at them made me realize how little we were valued. They all looked exactly the same. Same equipment, stance, everything. I couldn’t even see their faces through their visors. At camp I watched them be excited about taking part in the siege of Libra. It was comical. I could hardly believe that half a year ago, I was just like them. Now… I don’t really know how to describe myself. Sick and tired of it all? Not quite. All I know for sure is that the hole is getting deeper and deeper. I wonder, how much deeper can it get?
ENTRY SIX
The siege was a disaster. Up until now, the North had been fighting an uphill battle, powerless in the face of the Dragon Legion. Now we were being slaughtered like pigs. The city walls of Libra dwarfed the walls of the fortress we had besieged before. Each volley of arrows fired by the elves created a dark mass that blocked the sun before wiping out scores of us. After being weakened by city defenses, a powerful garrison of soldiers came from the gates to finish off whatever was left. Before, I had to look for enemies to fight but now they seemed like an endless horde of ants. Every person I cut down was replaced by ten more. Finally the order to retreat was given and we retreated in a frenzy. Many were killed as they tried to flee the fighting. In the end, we managed to regroup. And here I am. As it turns out, Commander Gruch made a mistake and attacked without the support of other Dragon Legion Assault Divisions that were supposed to meet us there. Thanks to his stupidity, that entire campaign is now compromised and over six thousand lives were wasted. I was told that the Apocalypse Knights are to take our place in the follow up attack. With those sadistic freaks and their screaming skull art leading the charge, there’s no way that city is going to hold. Thinking back now, I’m lucky to be alive but it certainly doesn’t feel that wa-
ENTRY SEVEN
Still alive somehow miraculously. I was struck in the shoulder with an arrow while writing and fortunately, the arrow struck my armor and ended up lodged in the cushioning beneath the metal plate. The enemy attacked us when we were weak and unaware and now we’ve been driven deep into the caves. We have a couple of fire mages with us so I’ve got the illumination to write. We were split up throughout the cave system so it’s just me and about two dozen other men. We have no food or water, and we don’t know where we are. Hopefully someone will find us before we all starve or thirst to death.
ENTRY EIGHT
Not sure if it’s night or day, but we managed to find an underground source of water. With our hydration problem solved we just needed food. Hunger has created a stabbing pain in my stomach and I’m sure the other men feel the same. Commander Gruch was separated with another group so the chain of command doesn’t exist here. As a result, soldiers have begun to fight amongst themselves and I suspect hunger had something to do with it. Someone important once said, “An army marches on its stomach.”
ENTRY NINE
A couple of days have passed. Being unnourished is taxing so now would be a great time for a rescue party to find us. The others feel the same. Peering into the foreboding caves filled me with fear for the first time in awhile, The continuous dripping of water unnerves me to no end. Screams. I can hear screams! The sound of blood curdling screaming! It’s distracted the others from their squabbles and now they’re looking around trying to find the source. It has to be one of the other groups! Silence. Guess that’s it for them huh?
ENTRY TEN
Starvation tired us out too fast. The levitating fireballs that the mages used as light were becoming smaller as they weakened. During our trek, we came across numerous forks in the caves. We had no method of telling where they went so we guessed. That said, I can’t help but wonder if at some point we chose wrong and we ended up deeper into the caves and farther away from the rescue party that’s probably looking for us. The thought tormented me for every step I took. Maybe taking a left instead of a right could’ve taken us home. Or perhaps, we were already en route to home and taking a right led us deeper into the caves. No point in thinking about it anymore though. Otherwise, I might just go insane.
ENTRY ELEVEN
Still no sign of escape. More walking. More day dreaming of filling our bellies. I wonder how long it’s been since we’ve been here? More importantly, we heard it again. Screaming. Mortifying screams that resonated throughout the caverns before dying out. The sound stopped everyone in their tracks, leaving them frozen in place and then the eerie silence. One of the soldiers just couldn’t take it anymore and broke down wailing. He crouched down holding his head with his hands, screaming at the top of his lungs. The others tried to shut him up but to no avail. And then… another soldier unsheathed his sword and killed him. Everyone looked at the killer in shock. He frantically tried to justify himself by saying that the other man was giving them away which was undoubtedly true. But in all honesty, it’s only a matter of time before what caused the screaming gets us too. The smell of blood. Some time ago it made me recoil and grimace but now, it was oddly appetizing.
ENTRY TWELVE
My human dignity is still mine! Unlike several of the others who feasted on the dead man’s body. When I thought about how he was more than a cow or pig, I couldn’t sink my teeth in. I’m still human. I’m still sane. Who am I trying to fool? The fact that I came so close to eating a fellow man just proves the instability of my feeble mind. My hunger seized mind! That hole is… awfully deep now isn’t it?
ENTRY THIRTEEN
I’ve made the horrible mistake of looking at my reflection in a puddle. The temptation was just too much! I saw a ghost of my former self. The sight made me despairingly aware of my bony fingers, my ribs pressing against my armor, and the cruel hopelessness of our dilemma. (The following lines are violently scribbled onto the page in large letters)
I’M HUNGRY
I WANT TO GO HOME
I DON’T WANT TO DIE
ENTRY FOURTEEN
The taste of blood, the grinding of long unused teeth! The forbidden feast! Now I’m no better than a mindless animal… This… This must be what it means to be truly unworthy of life.
ENTRY FIFTEEN
Bodies. So many torn apart, half eaten, decaying bodies. It was one of the other groups. No wonder they screamed so violently. As we walked through the corpses, the putrid smell of death assaulted our senses, causing me to vomit the partially digested flesh of our victim. One corpse, or a piece of it really, I recognized. It was Commander Gruche’s head, torn from his body wherever that may be. Knowing that the fool was dead brought me a twisted sense of joy and I laughed maniacally.
ENTRY SIXTEEN
No one needed to say anything about the foreboding feeling that we’re being stalked. I’m so terrified I’ve broken out in a cold sweat. Death is watching us, waiting for us, for the perfect moment to take us. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel for us. There never was to begin with. I’ve become aware of every little sound. Our footsteps, the dripping of water, our fearful breathing, and most of all, the scuffling. Every time we thought we knew the source of the sound we turned to face it and there’s nothing. The sounds. They haunt me. Hearing all those noises and not knowing their source makes me want to curl up and cower. Ah. That’s a big cave. Oh no…
ENTRY SEVENTEEN
(frantic handwriting)I’m still alive! An appendage dragged away a mage while they screamed in terror. The fireball that hovered around them followed and we saw them. So many things. Monsters. They were all around this massive dark space, watching us. Almost instantly, the light vanished as they were torn apart. Immediately the others began to fall victim. While they were slaughtered, I escaped down a tunnel, but without light I ran face first into a dead end. I can hear the screams of my comrades as they’re feasted upon and I’m alone in this horrific space! Silence. Soul crushing silence. (Extra frantic handwriting ensues) Scuffling! The scuffling of those things! They’re getting closer! They’re going to kill me! I’m gonna die! The scuffling is getting louder, they’re getting closer! The hole is so deep… so deep... it’s an infinite void now. I don’t think I’m going home anymo-
…
Shuddering with tears, I closed the bloody diary. The immortalized image of his limbs and shredded organs rotting in a stinking mess possessing me. If only I found them faster… Then maybe… just maybe…
Bio: My name is Nhan Vu and I’m from Keller TX. I’m an English major here at SNC and my goal is to become a story writer at a film studio and a part time author of dark fantasy. On campus, I compete with the swim team and I’m a part of the ROTC program. Thank you for reading!
