Aunt Jackie and her Pigeon-toed Feet/Abigail Best

Aunt Jackie is called the strange one of the family.
She likes ornate furniture covered in stained plastic sheets and
Michael Jackson’s greatest hits on repeat.
Cheeky wax faces hang on her kitchen walls,
Their lips parted into little Ohs, wicks slithering out like tongues.

Aunt Jackie dotes on her daughter’s every need,
Removing the cheese from her already boring cheese pizza.
She makes her a special meal at thanksgiving all while
Balancing the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes,
Homemade gravy, crisp apple pie, green bean casserole,
Cranberry sauce, and dreadful mush she calls macaroni and cheese
With her eight tentacles. 

Little does she know her daughter has SLUT
Written across her adolescent knuckles. 
S for the pointer,
L for the middle,
U for the ring,
T for the pinky.

Aunt Jackie doesn’t drink boxed white wine with the rest of the aunts.
She sips from a can of Sprite Zero while her pigeon toed feet
Glide across the floor in not so non-slip slippers.

Aunt Jackie’s husband is leaving her.
They say it is mutual but we’ve all heard what he says about her.
Aunt Jackie is crazy.
Aunt Jackie is a bitch.
Aunt Jackie is a woman.
They’re all the same! He tells us. 

Aunt Jackie’s son won’t talk to her anymore.
He took a vow of silence years ago after
She got too close with his college girlfriend.
He said he didn’t want her to turn out like his mom.
You know, crazy and a bitch, a real woman. 

Aunt Jackie’s house is quiet now.
Her eight spindly arms aren’t rummaging around
In the pantry for her trusty bottle of vanilla
That she uses in her famous sweet potato casserole.

Aunt Jackie misses scraping lukewarm cheese off of floppy crust,
She even misses midnight arguments with her husband
Ending in indigo bruises and domestic dispute calls.
Aunt Jackie misses the cherub candle smiles that she once saw
When everyone was gathering in the kitchen to blow out sixteen candles. 

They’re all moaning now, their faces slowly melting
From the heat of shame, and they are crying out
Save Our Souls from poor Aunt Jackie and her pigeon toed feet!

---