Piece of Rambling/Maeve Carraher

My words held near,
Only come forth at slow.
Building my way up,
Takes some time.

But when they fall from me,
My lips parted to speak,
I know they care not
For what I give.

My stories are gray,
Clouded in mist,
Make people worry
Or bored
Or miss
What I find near and dear
Oh so special to me
But they can’t see me.
They can’t see.

I listen and learn
From what I observe,
I hear fantastic tales
Gossips abound
Making their way
Weaving the crowd
I try to do
Copy it down
But my scribbles are nonsense
I act like a clown.
They can’t see past the fog
They don’t like me at all
What am I supposed to do?

Who am I supposed to be?

I am uninteresting
I give nothing
There is no spark of mine
Lighting the shadows up
I’d love to be the one
To radiate something nice for once

But I’m aloof
Distant and rude
That’s how I come off
That must be me.
No fear nor worry,
Anxiety destroying me,
It’s all a facade
A game all along
That is me
A game
A puzzle of missing pieces.

Who is the player 
The master of all?
Could they be so kind
to lighten my load,
Fit a piece or two in
Something innocuous
I don’t care anymore
Just give me a part
To my missing whole,
I know it is out there
I’m losing control
The wheel has spun
Spun too fast
I can’t get a grasp
I can’t do it

I have to.

My life so near
Vital to get it off,
Off of my chest
They’ll do the rest
No need to fall.

Maybe they’ll glare
Let out their stares
Keep them contained
Shout them in my brain.
But my words must leave,
They can leave
For the pieces to take their place
For my soul to unerase
Sew me together
Slowly the thread winds in and out
May get caught
Stuck in a knot
But it’ll come about
It’ll work itself out.
I just have to see
I have to see.

I have to speak.
The puzzle will complete.

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Maeve Carraher: “I’m currently a freshman at SNC. I’m part of the school’s Honors Program, and I haven’t declared a major. Writing poetry and getting my (often spiraling) thoughts down is something I’ve always found solace in, so I thought it might be a good opportunity to see if I could contribute my words to Graphos, even if they aren’t the best.”